People Driving Cars are Assholes Too

Well no shit Sherlock. I hear this all the time, and it never fails to blow my mind that someone would be stupid enough to say this. This is akin to someone complaining about Hitler killing 6 million of his own people, and hear someone say “well Stalin killed 20 million of his” in defense of Hitler. Yeah, it’s true, but it doesn’t make what Hitler did any less horrific. 

You want to gripe about asshole drivers? Be my guest, I’ll join you. You want to start a blog about it? Do so with my blessing and send me the link. None of this excuses what cyclists do. And, not only does it not justify their behavior, but there are some key differences between asshole cyclists and asshole drivers.


 

In my Stalin and Hitler analogy I was comparing Hitler to cyclists and Stalin to asshole drivers. That was intentional. Asshole drivers do more damage on the streets; they cause more wrecks and road stress than cyclists. However, when you get down to who is/was more evil, cyclists, like Hitler, win out. Maybe they don’t murder as many of their own people, or cause as many traffic accidents, but they are just plain bigger assholes while spreading their death and destruction. Stalin may have killed more people, but he had more people to kill. Drivers may cause more accidents, but there are more of them on the roads. 

Asshole drivers drive me crazy as much as cyclists do… sometimes. I just love it when on their way to work, or to pick up their kids from school, they decided it would be a good idea to block an entire lane of traffic while they try and sneak over into the turning lane they should have gotten into 100 yards back. Why do they do it? Because they are an asshole, that’s why. But there is an important distinction here from cyclists, and that is that while they are being an asshole, they are being so on their way to work, or to pick up their kids form school. They aren’t on the roads for the sole purpose of creating havoc. Cyclists are on the road just to be assholes, asshole drivers are people who just happen to be assholes while on the road. They aren’t driving around causing trouble just to be a dick like cyclists; they are just doing what they normally do while driving to the grocery store or heading to a friend’s house, being a giant asshole who thinks the world revolves around them. 

And there is one more very important difference between asshole drivers and cyclists. Asshole drivers, while plentiful, don’t represent all drivers. The majority of motor vehicle drivers are courteous and safe, while observing the rules of the road. Cyclists however are universally assholes who are only the road to create mayhem for the glorification of their own fragile egos. 

What’s that? It’s not fair to paint all cyclists with such a broad brush? 

Sure it is. For some groups, like the Ku Klux Klan, Neo-Nazis, politicians, it is more than OK to paint with a broad brush, because the generalizations are true for 99% or more of them. Same for cyclists. 

Yes there are some real jackasses out there driving cars and trucks on our nation’s road ways, thanks for the update. It doesn’t detract from what cyclists are doing. Stop trying to excuse what they’re doing but pointing to other groups of people who also happen to be assholes.